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Updated: 18 min 43 sec ago

'Facebook ads are very boring and not very imaginative'

Fri, 2012/05/18 - 4:46am
Plus: 'IT boys, hiss it through your teeth – Shut up, bitch!'

Quotw This was the week when investor interest hit ever higher feverish pitches as (not sure if you heard about this or not) Facebook prepares to go public.…

Pints under attack as Lord Howe demands metric-only UK

Wed, 2012/05/16 - 7:03am
Weights and measures a 'uniquely confusing shambles'

Lord Geoffrey Howe of Aberavon has demanded that the UK goes fully metric as soon as possible, describing the current mix of miles and kilometres and pints and litres as a "uniquely confusing shambles".…

<strong>[NSFW]</strong> Watchdog bites bar over 'offensive' Facebook ad

Wed, 2012/05/16 - 5:45am
Stoke venue's man oysters leave ASA open-mouthed

NSFW The Advertising Standards Authority has sunk its teeth into the Manhattan Bar in Stoke on Trent, for a Facebook promotion "likely to cause serious or widespread offence".…

Scammers exploit wannabe demon-slayers hyped by Diablo III

Tue, 2012/05/15 - 11:03am
Go straight to hell

Cybercrooks latched onto the release of Diablo III on Monday with a run of scams themed around the widely anticipated video game.…

US dope farmer in Walmart rattlesnake chomp shock

Tue, 2012/05/15 - 10:34am
Mulch shopping trip ends in 'six bags of anti-venom'

A Walmart customer required the urgent administration of "six bags of anti-venom" after a rattlesnake sank its fangs into him at a Washington state tentacle of the retail monolith.…

Stuck in a dull conference? You need Verity's survival guide

Mon, 2012/05/14 - 3:19am
Getting your own back on technical seminar speakers

Stob The technical conference season is once more upon us. The speakers at these affairs spend a lot of time sharing their software design patterns and anti-patterns with us; as a regular attendee it seemed to me that we punters were overdue for revenge. Here is some of their own medicine.…

Vote now for the worst movie NEVER made

Fri, 2012/05/11 - 6:45am
The horror, the horror...

Poll The moment has arrived for you, our beloved cinemagoing readers, to vote for the worst movie never made.…

'Call Corporate Of Apple and tell them to stop there persuit!!'

Fri, 2012/05/11 - 4:17am
Plus: 'Google knew it needed a licence'

Quotw This was the week when the Oracle v Google trial over the Chocolate Factory's use of Java in the Android OS rumbled on, and the jury didn't help matters much.…

Ape Apps help Orangutans talk to people

Wed, 2012/05/09 - 10:57pm
Fondleslabs fold under simian swipes

Orangutans at Miami Zoo are using iPads to communicate with humans.…

VW STUNS WORLD+DOG WITH REAL HOVER-CAR!

Wed, 2012/05/09 - 7:19pm
Or: viral vid success, critical thinking fail

It would be nice if it were true, but El Reg has difficulty believing that this video of a VW concept hover-car in China is genuine:…

WH Smiths tills insist shop sells The Queen's Knickers only

Tue, 2012/05/08 - 1:58am
It was a cockup by us NOT hackers, insists firm

WH Smiths tills would only dispense receipts for 'The Queen's Knickers' for several hours yesterday, after a technical mistake in the tills screwed up receipt printing in the chain's outlets across the country.…

iPad chargers can open beer bottles

Sun, 2012/05/06 - 5:04am
Student sparks craze with Tweet

That clever Jony Ive. Not content with giving the planet all manner of lovely iThings, the Apple designer may also have given the world the first combined AC adapter/beer bottle opener.…

German education minister accused of copying in class

Fri, 2012/05/04 - 10:45am
Yet another Teutonic politico fingered for PhD plagiarism

Yet another German politician has fallen victim to the increasingly common accusation of academic plagiarism. The German Education and Research Minister Annette Schavan has been accused of plagiarising parts of her research in the PhD thesis she wrote in 1980.…

Syrian secret police endorse male hair remover

Fri, 2012/05/04 - 8:33am
'Most prisoners confessed within five minutes of the first application'

The excessively hirsute among you looking to derug yourselves are pointed in the direction of Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme, which is attracting some enthusiastic reviews down at Amazon.…

Engineer Doe thought people's private info 'might be useful'

Fri, 2012/05/04 - 2:02am
Plus: 'Apple, please don't make stupid assumptions'

Quotw This was the week when, in technology's ongoing mission to look like saving the world is its number one priority and all that money stuff is just incidental, Facebook launched its option to let the world know that you're an organ donor.…

iOS Rock Band gets back together

Thu, 2012/05/03 - 5:27pm
Blue note as error spread confusion, anger

EA's iOS version of Rock Band isn't breaking up, after all.…

Wayward footballer turns to iPod cure

Thu, 2012/05/03 - 12:30am
The crowd roars

Australian Rules footballer Sam Reid of the Sydney Swans may turn to technology in an attempt to repair his wayward kicking.…

EA unplugs Rock Band for iOS

Wed, 2012/05/02 - 6:19pm
The day the music dies is May 31

The iOS version of Rock Band will go out of tune forever on May 31.…

Biennial boner blights Beemer biker

Tue, 2012/05/01 - 9:31am
Bloke sues over priapism-inducing BMW saddle

A California man is suing BMW and custom motorbike saddle maker Corbin-Pacific for an epic stiffie which he insists was caused by a "ridge-like" seat fitted to his wheels.…

Nympho hauled to loon-cooler after serial bonkathon brutality

Tue, 2012/05/01 - 3:18am
'I can't walk. Please help me', sobbed second victim

A Munich nymphomaniac is languishing in hospital under psychiatric observation after two men suffered extended sexual ordeals at the hands of the rampant temptress.…